Mathematicians the world over rejoice this day as they expound upon the mathematical unity and appropriateness of Square Root Day. We here at FG SQUARED are rejoicing too, and think people need to explore the perfection of this date to really understand how wonderful and rare an opportunity it really is, even if it reveals that we are a gaggle of true-blue nerds, geeks, and weirdos. (Come one, you all knew already, didn’t you?) So come along with us and take some time today to relax and indulge those secret parts of yourself:
• Be square: It takes a lot of energy to constantly maintain an acceptable and popular level of coolness. Take a moment to reflect on your inner nerdiness today. What are you really good at but have to hide for fear of others discovering it and exploiting your weakness? Rejoice! Speak Klingon, crunch numbers, surf the internet, play Trivial Pursuit (well), or talk to someone about the latest and most interesting article in Scientific American. Today geekiness is a strength!
• Explore your roots: Get in touch with all those people who ever taught you math and thank them for giving you a base so you could really appreciate today.
• Wear square: Forget all those form-fitting, stifling clothes today and wear something boxy and bulky and eminently more comfortable.
• Square your food: Cut root veggies in squares (I got that from somewhere on the internet), make square cupcakes or pies (pi’s—3.14 or 31409—ha ha, more fun with math!), make up dishes with 3 equal ingredients or 9 ingredients, or make up drinks and cocktails with 3 equal ingredients or 9 ingredients (I smell an FG SCREWDRIVER or FG ICE TEA cocktail coming).
• Hold a random Shakespearean square dance: Make up silly names; collect some psychologically unsound royalty, a few seedy tavern owners, and some wenches and witches; generate some good Shakespeare-inspired insults (http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html); put on an Elizabethan collars; form a square; and get down!
• Water some roots—nurture those plants!
• Run your own pants up a flagpole.
• Triple-dog-dare someone to do anything.
And while you’re enjoying yourself following these Square pursuits, remember to give a nod to both the Gregorian calendar and the math community for bringing us a chance to indulge in an entire day of random Square Root-ness.